LAST UPDATE: January 11, 2012


DID YOU KNOW THAT LISTING

[000012.] Did you know that the Shrimp's heart is located on its head?
[000012.] Did you know that moths have no stomach?
[000011.] Did you know that we actually do not see with our eyes – we see with our brains. The eyes basically are the cameras of the brain...
[000010.] Did you know that it is impossible to sneeze and keep one’s eyes open at the same time? Try It!!
[000009.] Have you wondered why there are no letters assigned to the numbers 1 and 0 on a phone keypad? These numbers remain unassigned because they are so-called “flag” numbers, it is kept for special purposes such as emergency or operator services.
[000008.] Did you know that the sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter of the alphabet?
[000007.] Did you know that Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first?
[000006.] Did you know that the names of all the continents end with the letter they start with?
[000005.] Did you know that The only nation whose name begins with an "A," but doesn't end in an "A," is Afghanistan?
[000004.] Did you know that A cricket's ears are on its front legs?
[000003.] Did you know that Snakes always keep their eyes open, even when they are asleep?
[000002.] Did You know that in the Periodic Table of Elements the only Alphabet not included is "J"? Check your periodic table!!!
[000001.] Did you know that it's Impossible to Lick your Elbow? Try it!!



COMPILATION OF ERAP JOKES

[00019.]
Russian: We're first in the Space.
USA: We're first in the Moon.
Erap: We'll be the first in the Sun.
USA: You can't go there...you'll be burn.
Erap: We're not stupid...We'll go there at night.

[00018.]
Jinggoy: Dad, pang ilang Tirso Cruz na si Tirso Cruz III?
Erap: (natawa) trick question ba yan anak? Eh, di pang-lima, kaya nga PIP ang tawag sa kanya, di ba?

[00017.]
Erap: 'Doc, I accidentally swallowed a chicken bone!'
Doc: 'Is it choking?'
Erap: 'No, it is Max's.'
Doc: 'I don't mean 'Chow King', I mean, are you choking....'
Erap: 'No, Doc! Serioso ako, Doc!'

[00016.]
GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at
kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
Erap: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat
kasi na "Sugarfree."
GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!

[00015.]
Erap, Cory, FVR hostaged!

One day, Cory, Erap and FVR were hostaged by the Abu Sayaff. Before they were about to be executed, they were permitted to eat. While eating, FVR thought of a clever idea. If they were to think of a calamity before they were shot, they would scare the Abu Sayaff and they would have a chance to escape.

First to be shot was FVR:
The Abu Sayaff counted. 1,2,..
Before he was shot he shouted, "Typhoon, typhoon!!"
Then the Abu Sayaff ran into cover letting FVR to Escape.

Second was Cory:
The Abu Sayaff counted. 1,2..
Before she was shot she shouted, "Tornado, tornado!!"
Then the Abu Sayaff ran for cover letting Cory escape.

Then came Erap's turn:
The Abu Sayaff counted. 1,2..
Then Erap said, "Fire, fire!!"

Erap was shot dead while the other two escaped.

[00014.]
Erap's Prayer

Gambling father
who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan .
Give me this day
My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am Led into temptation
Deliver me from criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever. Amen.

[00013.]
Erap's Mi ultimo Adios

Mi parte de jueteng wala na.
Mis compadres y lords nabuking na.
Los mansiones de mis
queridas ini-imbistiga
Mis amigos de la Camara el
ultimo pagasa.

[00012.]
FVR: ERAP, may gift ako for you. Galing sa India and it's a 10 feet snake.
ERAP: Ows, niloloko mo naman ako eh! 10 feet? Hoy, di ako ganoon katanga, snake walang feet.

[00011.]
An accountant asked ERAP what a BALANCE SHEET IS.
ERAP answered - IT COMES OUT AFTER A BALANCE DIET.

[00010.]
BILL: Let's help one another.
ERAP: Tayo'y magtulungan


COMPILATION OF RIDDLES

[00193.]
It is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
Answer » Nothing. Nothing is greater than God, nothing is more evil than the devil, the poor have nothing, the rich need nothing and if you eat nothing you'll die

[00192.]
It walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three legs in the evening. What is it?
Answer » Man (or woman). Crawls on all fours as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult and uses two legs and a cane when they're old.

[00191.]
I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?
Answer » The letter e. End, timE, spacE, Every placE

[00190.]
What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?
Answer » A river.

[00189.]
I never was, am always to be. No one ever saw me, nor ever will. And yet I am the confidence of all, To live and breath on this terrestrial ball. What am I?
Answer » Tomorrow or the future.

[00188.]
At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?
Answer » The stars.

[00187.]
There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
Answer » A watermelon.

[00186.]
What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?
Answer » The letter 'n'.

[00185.]
Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is.
Answer » It states, "There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word?" The third word of that phrase is of course "language." Don't get angry at me, I didn't make it up :)

[00184.]
The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it?
Answer » A coffin

[00183.]
The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
Answer » Darkness

[00182.]
What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no legs?
Answer » A penny.

[00181.]
What English word has three consecutive double letters?
Answer » Bookkeeper. An alternate, tricky, answer could be Woollen (where W is a "double u")

[00180.]
What's black when you get it, red when you use it, and white when you're all through with it?
Answer » Charcoal.

[00179.]
You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
Answer » An ear of corn.

[00178.]
I am always hungry,
I must always be fed,
The finger I touch,
Will soon turn red
Answer » Fire

[00177.]
Ripped from my mother's womb,
Beaten and burned,
I become a blood thirsty killer.
What am I?
Answer » Iron ore

[00176.]
I know a word of letters three. Add two, and fewer there will be
Answer » Few

[00175.]
I give you a group of three. One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to him, yet is always hungry. The third goes away and never returns.
Answer » Stove, fire, smoke

[00174.]
I have four legs but no tail. Usually I am heard only at night. What am I?
Answer » A frog. The frog is an amphibian in the order Anura (meaning "tail-less") and usually makes noises at night during its mating season.

[00173.]
Half-way up the hill, I see thee at last, lying beneath me with thy sounds and sights -- A city in the twilight, dim and vast, with smoking roofs, soft bells, and gleaming lights.
Answer » The past. (Longfellow)

[00172.]
When young, I am sweet in the sun.
When middle-aged, I make you gay.
When old, I am valued more than ever.
Answer » Wine

[00171.]
All about, but cannot be seen,
Can be captured, cannot be held,
No throat, but can be heard.
Answer » The wind

[00170.]
If you break me
I do not stop working,
If you touch me
I may be snared,
If you lose me
Nothing will matter.
Answer » Your heart

[00169.]
Until I am measured
I am not known,
Yet how you miss me
When I have flown.
Answer » Time

[00168.]
I drive men mad
For love of me,
Easily beaten,
Never free.
Answer » Gold

[00167.]
When set loose
I fly away,
Never so cursed
As when I go astray.
Answer » A fart

[00166.]
Lighter than what
I am made of,
More of me is hidden
Than is seen.
Answer » Iceberg

[00165.]
Each morning I appear
To lie at your feet,
All day I will follow
No matter how fast you run,
Yet I nearly perish
In the midday sun.
Answer » Shadow

[00164.]
My life can be measured in hours,
I serve by being devoured.
Thin, I am quick
Fat, I am slow
Wind is my foe.
Answer » A candle

[00163.]
I am seen in the water
If seen in the sky,
I am in the rainbow,
A jay's feather,
And lapis lazuli.
Answer » Blue

[00162.]
Glittering points
That downward thrust,
Sparkling spears
That never rust.
Answer » Icicle

[00161.]
You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I die,
'Till you call me again.
Answer » An echo

[00160.]
Three lives have I.
Gentle enough to soothe the skin,
Light enough to caress the sky,
Hard enough to crack rocks.
Answer » Water

[00159.]
At the sound of me, men may dream
Or stamp their feet
At the sound of me, women may laugh
Or sometimes weep
Answer » Music

[00158.]
What does man love more than life
Fear more than death or mortal strife
What the poor have, the rich require,
and what contented men desire,
What the miser spends and the spendthrift saves
And all men carry to their graves?
Answer » Nothing

[00157.]
I build up castles.
I tear down mountains.
I make some men blind,
I help others to see.
What am I?
Answer » Sand

[00156.]
Two in a corner,
1 in a room,
0 in a house, but 1 in a shelter. What am I?
Answer » The letter r.

[00155.]
Five hundred begins it, five hundred ends it,
Five in the middle is seen;
First of all figures, the first of all letters,
Take up their stations between.
Join all together, and then you will bring
Before you the name of an eminent king.
Answer » DAVID (Roman numerals)

[00154.]
It cannot be seen, it weighs nothing, but when put into a barrel, it makes it lighter. What is it?
Answer » A hole

[00153.]
How far will a blind dog walk into a forest?
Answer » Halfway. After he gets halfway, he's walking out of the forest.

[00152.]
What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple stream?
Answer » It makes a splash.

[00151.]
What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it?
Answer » A teapot

[00150.]
As I went over London Bridge
I met my sister Jenny
I broke her neck and drank her blood
And left her standing empty
Answer » A bottle of gin

[00149.]
Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
Whoever knows it, wants it not
Answer » Counterfeit money

[00148.]
I am, in truth, a yellow fork
From tables in the sky
By inadvertent fingers dropped
The awful cutlery.
Of mansions never quite disclosed
And never quite concealed
The apparatus of the dark
To ignorance revealed.
Answer » Lightning

[00147.]
You saw me where I never was and where I could not be. And yet within that very place, my face you often see. What am I?
Answer » A reflection

[00146.]
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
Answer » The answer to this admittedly lame riddle is, "No." The reason is that the question at the very end asks if you can guess the riddle and there is nothing that satisfies the requirements above.

[00145.]
Say my name and I disappear. What am I?
Answer » Silence

[00144.]
What is it that after you take away the whole, some still remains?
Answer » Wholesome

[00143.]
A box without hinges, lock or key, yet golden treasure lies within. What is it?
Answer » An egg

[00142.]
Forward I'm heavy, but backwards I'm not. What am I?
Answer » Ton

[00141.]
Why doesn't a mountain covered with snow catch cold?
Answer » Because it has a snowcap :)

[00140.]
I can be long, or I can be short.
I can be grown, and I can be bought.
I can be painted, or left bare.
I can be round, or square.
What am I?
Answer » A fingernail

[00139.]
One by one we fall from heaven
down into the depths of past
And our world is ever upturned
so that yet some time we'll last
Answer » Sands in an hourglass

[00138.]
I drift forever with the current
down these long canals they've made
Tame, yet wild, I run elusive
Multitasking to your aid.
Before I came, the world was darker
Colder, sometimes, rougher, true
But though I might make living easy,
I'm good at killing people too.
Answer » Electricity (or lightning)

[00137.]
Reaching stiffly for the sky,
I bare my fingers when it's cold
In warmth I wear an emerald glove
And in between I dress in gold
Answer » A deciduous tree

[00136.]
Kings and queens may cling to power
and the jester's got his call
But, as you may all discover,
the common one outranks them all
Answer » An ace (in a deck of cards)

[00135.]
Every dawn begins with me
At dusk I'll be the first you see
And daybreak couldn't come without
What midday centers all about
Daises grow from me, I'm told
And when I come, I end all cold
But in the sun I won't be found
Yet still, each day I'll be around
Answer » The letter d.

[00134.]
Kings and lords and christians raised them
Since they stand for higher powers
Yet few of them would stand, I'm certain,
if women ruled this world of ours
Answer » A tower.

[00133.]
Soft and fragile is my skin
I get my growth in mud
I'm dangerous as much as pretty
For if not careful, I draw blood.
Answer » A thorn

[00132.]
Three brothers share a family sport:
A non-stop marathon
The oldest one is fat and short
And trudges slowly on
The middle brother's tall and slim
And keeps a steady pace
The youngest runs just like the wind,
A-speeding through the race
"He's young in years, we let him run,"
The other brothers say
"'Cause though he's surely number one,
He's second, in a way."
Answer » The hands on a clock (hour, minute, second).

[00131.]
It's true I bring serenity,
And hang around the stars
But yet I live in misery;
You'll find me behind bars
With thieves and villains I consort
In prison I'll be found
But I would never go to court,
Unless there's more than one
Answer » The letter s

[00130.]
I am a box that holds keys without locks, yet they can unlock your soul. What am I?
Answer » A piano.

[00129.]
There once was a strange man who loved wordplay, he had a very important and successful business that would take insect shipments from all across the world and distribute them to zoos across the US.

What was the name of his company?

Answer » ImportANT

[00128.]
There is one word that stands the test of time and holds fast to the center of everything. Though everyone will try at least once in their life to move around this word, but in fact, unknowingly, they use it every moment of the day. Young or old, awake or in sleep, human or animal, this word stands fast. It belongs to everyone, to all living things, but no one can master it. The word is?
Answer » Gravity

[00127.]
My days are in the summer
When you'll eat me when I'm hot
In fact I'll even eat myself
Where battles tough are fought
But when you find me in a fight
'Twill be high in the sky
And if you catch me napping
I suggest you let me lie
When you're bad come to my house
From Ma get thoughts profound
Am I big or am I small?
Some say I'm just a pound.
Answer » Dog. Dog days, hot dog, dog pound, dog fight.

[00126.]
My first is twice in apple but not once in tart. My second is in liver but not in heart. My third is in giant and also in ghost. Whole I'm best when I am roast. What am I?
Answer » A pig.

[00125.]
What gets wetter as it dries?
Answer » A towel

[00124.]
This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you'd think nothing was wrong with it - and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why? Study it, think about it, and you may find out. Try to do it without coaching. If you work at it for a bit it will dawn on you. So jump to it and try your skill at figuring it out. Good luck - don't blow your cool!
Answer » The most common letter in the English language, the letter e, is not found in the entire paragraph.

[00123.]
When you went into the woods you got me.
You hated me yet you wanted to find me.
You went home with me cause you couldn't find me

What was it?
Answer » A splinter

[00122.]
An iron horse with a flaxen tail.
The faster the horse runs,
the shorter his tail becomes.

What is it?
Answer » A needle and thread.

[00121.]
You have to travel far before you turn it over. What is it?
Answer » An odometer

[00120.]
A mile from end to end, yet as close to as a friend. A precious commodity, freely given. Seen on the dead and on the living. Found on the rich, poor, short and tall, but shared among children most of all. What is it?
Answer » A smile.

[00119.]
I'm full of holes, yet I'm full of water. What am I?
Answer » A sponge

[00118.]
Four of us are in your field
But our differences keep us at yield

First, a one that is no fool
Though he resembles a gardener's tool
Next, one difficult to split in two
And a girl once had one as big as her shoe
Then, to the mind, one's a lovely bonder
And truancy makes it grow fonder
Last, a stem connecting dots of three
Knowing all this, what are we?
Answer » The four suits in a deck of standard playing cards
The Spade is a gardener's tool.
The Diamond is the hardest gem to break. "Little Girl and Queen" is a Mother Goose rhyme, in which the Queen gave the girl a large diamond for picking the Queen some roses.
The Heart bonds with the mind to form love. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
The Club, or Clover, is three dots connected around a stem.

[00117.]
I am a word of meanings three.
Three ways of spelling me there be.
The first is an odour, a smell if you will.
The second some money, but not in a bill.
The third is past tense, a method of passing things on or around.
Can you tell me now, what these words are, that have the same sound?
Answer » Scent, cent, sent

[00116.]
It's red, blue, purple and green, no one can reach it, not even the queen. What is it?
Answer » A rainbow.

[00115.]
What question can you never honestly answer yes to?
Answer » Are you asleep? (or dead)

[00114.]
What has a neck and no head, two arms but no hands?
Answer » A shirt or sweater, jacket etc)

[00113.]
I live in water
If you cut my head I'm at your door,
If you cut my tail I'm fruit,
If you cut both I'm with you
What am I?
Answer » A pearl. They're found underwater. Removing the head (p) leaves Earl, a guy who could be at your door. Removing the tail (l) leaves pear, a fruit and if you cut both off you're left with ear, which is with you because it's attached to your head.

[00112.]
Feed me and I live, give me drink and I die. What am I?
Answer » Fire.

[00111.]
What begins and has no end? What is the ending of all that begins?
Answer » Death or decay

[00110.]
A man went to the hardware store to buy items for his house.
1 would cost $.25
12 would cost $.50
122 would cost $.75
When he left the store he had spent $.75, what did he buy?
Answer » House numbers

[00109.]
What makes a loud noise when changing its jacket, becomes larger but weighs less?
Answer » Popcorn

[00108.]
The more you take, the more you leave behind.
Answer » Footsteps

[00107.]
I am a word of 5 letters and people eat me. If you remove the first letter I become a form of energy. Remove the first two and I'm needed to live. Scramble the last 3 and you can drink me. What am I?
Answer » wheat
heat
eat
tea

[00106.]
Before any changes I'm a garlic or spice. My first is altered and I'm a hand-warming device. My second is changed and I'm trees in full bloom. The next letter change makes a deathly old tomb. Change the fourth to make a fruit of the vine. Change the last for a chart plotted with lines. What was I? What did I become? What did I turn out to be?
Answer » clove
glove
grove
grave
grape
graph

[00105.]
A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
Answer » She took a photo of him and developed it in the dark room.

[00104.]
Remove six letters from this sequence to reveal a familiar English word. BSAINXLEATNTEARS
Answer » BANANA (Removed SIX LETTERS)

[00103.]
Alive without breath,
As cold as death,
Clad in mail never clinking,
Never thirsty, ever drinking
Answer » A fish

[00102.]
I can always go up, never down,
I can always turn left, never right,
I am always hot when I'm cold
Answer » A ski lift

[00101.]
A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?
Answer » The horse's name is Friday

[00100.]
What has roots that nobody sees,
Is taller than trees,
Up, up it goes,
Yet it never grows?
Answer » A mountain (from Tolkien)

[00099.]
This thing all things devours,
Birds, beasts, trees, and flowers.
Gnaws iron bites steel,
Grinds hard stones to meal,
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down
Answer » Time

[00098.]
It cannot be seen, it cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt,
Lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
Comes first follows after,
Ends life kills laughter.
Answer » Darkness

[00097.]
An eye in a blue face
Saw an eye in a green face.
'That eye is like this eye'
Said the first eye,
But in a low, not high place.
Answer » The sun shining on daisies

[00096.]
I'm lighter than air but a million men can't lift me. What am I?
Answer » A bubble

[00095.]
A man is born in 1946 and dies in 1947, yet he was 86 years old. How is that possible?
Answer » He was born in room #1946 of the hospital when he was born, and died in room #1947 86 years later.

[00094.]
I go in hard.
I come out soft.
You blow me hard.
What am I?
Answer » Gum

[00093.]
Two words is my answer. In order to keep me, you have to give me. What am I?
Answer » Your word

[00092.]
If you drop me I'm sure to crack but give me a smile and I'll always smile back
Answer » A mirror

[00091.]
What does this represent?
Standing
World
Answer » Standing on top of the world

[00090.]
What does this represent?
Wear
Black
Answer » Black underwear